We can’t control other humans

If you’re managing people and feeling a little frustrated…

Perhaps because they’re not doing it ‘right or don’t seem to ‘care’ enough…

This is just my reminder to you that …sadly… we can’t control other human beings. 

Take it from me. I have tried. ☺

That’s not to say there aren’t MANY things we can do to INFLUENCE people, but to be good at that, we have to drop the belief that we can CONTROL them. 

The reason this is worth mentioning, is that if you’re feeling frustrated, that is ALMOST INEVITABLEY showing up in the way you’re interacting with people and the results you’re creating as a manager. 

You may think of yourself as very professional, but I guarantee you are not the epic actor you think you are. They know. Maybe you’re:

• being slightly short with them or passive aggressive
• ignoring them or not delegating future work
• not giving thoughtful feedback or support

Your frustration is now standing in the way of your ability to influence their development.  

So, my advice for reducing frustration, is to really hear me when I say that we can’t control other people. They get to show-up however they want. Of course, there might be professional consequences to that, but they are still ALLOWED. They have free will.

Once you drop the idea that they ‘should’ be different, the frustration will reduce.  

Then, in the absence of your frustration, you might have space to get curious about what’s really going on for them, to problem solve or hold them to account in ways that build trust. 

We feel frustration when we’re trying to control the uncontrollable. 

Always better to focus on what we CAN control, which is basically just our own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. 

Seems counterintuitive I know, but you’ll have much more influence on the people around you, if you hold their behaviour more lightly and focus on yours instead.  

P.S. If you’d like some help building your management skills or influence at work, CLICK HERE to book a free consult.