5 things I had to STOP doing to make partner

Wherever you are in your career journey, it’s worth thinking about what you’ll need to STOP doing (or believing) to get to where you want to be next.

For me, on my journey to partnership I had to stop:

1. Comparing myself to other people
2. Trying to be ‘perfect’
3. Minimising my successes
4. Trying to control other people’s opinions
5. Asking for permission 24 /7

Before I stopped doing those five things, I was, quite literally, slowing myself down.

I was wasting HOURS triple checking my work in an attempt to be ‘perfect’ or ‘as good’ as my peers. I was slowing whole projects down by looking for permission before I did anything. I couldn’t accept praise… in fact I would actively put myself down.

Spoiler alert… this was NOT a great recipe for success.

Finally, I was lucky enough to have a boss who told me….in no uncertain terms….to stop asking permission for everything and just get on with my bloody job. She told me that I was qualified; that sometimes I would royally screw things up (an accurate prediction), but that it was fine.

I didn’t need to be ‘perfect’ or the same as ‘them’ to make partnership.

I can’t say the change was easy. I worked on it deliberately every day. Sometimes I would sit with my head in my hand for 20 minutes before hitting send on an email that hadn’t been expressly ‘approved’ by my boss. People would praise me and I would force myself to say ‘thank you’ and then bite hard on my tongue before the usual minimising could begin.

My old thoughts and behaviours put up a fight. They still show up sometimes to be honest. But these days I’m on to them and I can usually shut them down pretty quickly.  

What do you need to stop doing or believing about yourself to move forward?

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