Feel like confidence is a personality trait...one that you just DON'T have?

Do you sometimes wish you were a ‘more confident person’? Perhaps you look around at colleagues and put them into ‘confident’ and ‘not confident’ boxes?

You’re not alone! It’s really natural to want to categorise ourselves and other people into boxes. Our brain is doing it all of the time. It makes life simpler to process. 

So, when it comes to confidence, it’s tempting to do the same thing. To think of confidence as a fixed personality trait. Something that some people have and other people don’t.

Here’s the problem. When you think about confidence in that way, it makes it SO much harder to create it for yourself. Because now you have to change your whole personality first!

No wonder it seems daunting or just plain exhausting to try and become a ‘confident’ person.

Here’s the good news.

Confidence is not a fixed personality trait. It’s just an emotion. Sometimes we feel it and sometimes we don’t, based on what we’re thinking at the time.

If, before a work task, you think “this is easy” or "it's no biggie if I screw this up" – you’ll probably feel pretty confident. On the other hand, if you think “I’m bound to screw this up” or “if I make a mistake everyone will think I’m an idiot” – you probably won’t feel confident.

Look, of course there are people who experience confidence more frequently than you, but that’s not because they were injected with the ‘confidence’ gene at birth. It’s just because their brain has been programmed to think differently from yours. If you're a women, you're much more likely to have been socialised to be overly concerned about what other people think of you or to place your value on compliance with perfectionist standards. 

Whatever the reason, it’s good to know that it's really just your programmed thoughts. Because we can change those. Our brains are hugely flexible. 

The first step is to change your perspective on confidence itself. When you notice yourself going back to the belief that confidence is a personality trait, remind yourself that it's just an emotion. 

If you want to take the next step and start to reprogram that thinking, click HERE to schedule a free Discovery Call with me.